Beyond Birth and Death

Ram Das' recent death brought me back to a subject that has fascinated me since I was a child: what happens when you die?

I have always felt that death is not the end but the beginning of a new chapter and that birth is not the beginning but a continuation of something that came before.

I have never witnessed a death, but I have been present at the birth of my three children. In our culture, birth and death are marked with such different emotions! Birth is a marvel, a moment of joy, while death is thought of as a tragedy, a loss.

On the other hand, death typically makes us think of all the positive things a person contributed and part of the tragedy seems to be tied up with the loss of those wonderful things a person has provided for us.

As Ram Das said - at death we tend to think of what has been lost rather than what survives a person. It seems to me that this fact is related to our insecurity, attachments and selfishness - we mourn our personal losses.

It is also related to the unknown quality of what happens after death and our own fear of inevitably going there. Death is the only certainty in life! Why do we spend our whole life avoiding thinking about it?

When KPJ died, instead of feeling sad, I felt a sense of relief! On the one hand, I had seen him a few months earlier, a shadow of his former self - weak, emaciated and suffering dementia - this was not the way I remembered him in his earlier years.

On the other hand I felt a sense of personal liberation - it was one of the most freeing days of recent years (being removed from Sharath's list was another). A relationship with a teacher is a bit like a marriage - very difficult to break the bonds. Teaching his method was a bit like having a child together - or maybe more accurately, like being a junior partner in a business partnership.

Promises that you make to a guru have extra weight that make them difficult to break, so his death was like the lifting of a burden. When we gathered 100s of people for his memorial in NYC, I could not bring myself to give a eulogy along with the other ashtanga teachers. How could I tell people I was happy he had died? That he had been relieved of his weak and sickly body and that I had been relieved of my burdens?

For many people bereavement is difficult because of unresolved issues, unspoken thoughts, conflicted feelings in relation to the departed. Most of his students had complex and difficult relations with him and did not find it easy to let him go.

In India there is a saying: when someone dies - they "attain their samadhi!" Samadhi is the body free condition, the goal of our yoga practice. According to yoga, life is suffering - yoga is emancipation. Why should death be a tragedy?

Until we have experienced body-free joy in this life, perhaps we cannot, with confidence, believe in the possibility of life beyond death. Perhaps, as Patanjali says, the fear of death (the deepest form of ignorance) will always represent an affliction that underlies all fears.

Since death is inevitable, should we not prepare for it? If one imagines that death is the end, then of course, it makes little sense preparing for it - we just want to enjoy while life lasts. But we should at least investigate whether this is true.

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I recently had the wonderful experience of being present at my son's birth. While birth is thought of as a joyful experience, it brings us very close to the possibility of death - both for the mother and the child.

What event could be more natural or essential than birth? And yet, there is so much fear and anxiety surrounding the event. The possibility of death is very real. But the anxiety has resulted from our disconnection from nature and what is natural.

As with most things in modern society, men have come to control everything. In this case, the man (me) was the most out of control feature. Our son was born at home with three women in attendance.

My favorite photo of the event is a picture of our wonderful midwife, Tanya. She is lounging on a chair, the epitome of relaxation: "Don't worry," she said "your body knows what to do!"

In spite of her extremely relaxed, empowering and positive attitude, when the moment of birth actually came she displayed some concern. The baby's head had been crowning for an hour and she became concerned that he was becoming distressed.

"If you don't push him out now we may have to consider an intervention." This was motive enough to bring us to make it happen and he was pushed out within 10 minutes, but during this period, we transitioned to a different mood.

From being laid back and pretty much waiting for it to happen, we now knew it was the critical moment and the intense concentration and pushing started.

There is a sublime period after the birth has completed, after the intensity and the concern that something could go wrong, of complete calm and tranquility. It is the most beautiful moment, a moment of deep peace, a moment where I am struck by the deepest respect and appreciation of a woman's strength. This is simply not something a man could do.

In the moment of delivery, I have seen real yoga. TOTAL CONCENTRATION. Total presence, yoking of effort. And afterwards the bliss, peace and joy - what we are all searching for. There is nothing more beautiful, moving or worthy of respect.

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Re-incarnation is an essential feature of yoga philosophy. If there was no life after death, there would be no compelling reason to make the effort to achieve yoga or to live a moral life. Yoga practice is an investment in the future.

There are many uncertainties in life (death is the only certainty) and we are constantly operating on the basis of faith - we could not do otherwise. It seems to me that a belief in reincarnation simply gives life more value, quality and meaning. It gives one motive to treat others better. It gives one a better opportunity to forgive oneself for transgressions in the knowledge that one has more time to make amends and change. I wish there was a strong philosophical or scientific argument, but I have yet to find one.

It seems impossible to know for sure one way or the other but there are various phenomena that seem to point towards reincarnation, or at least the possibility of consciousness independent of a body, but hard evidence is not available.

Have you ever met someone who comes from a completely different background, another part of the world, a different generation, economic circumstance etc. and yet felt like he/she is a long lost friend with whom one shares so much? At the same time, one can feel that a close family member is an alien with whom one shares no commonality? This is a familiar phenomenon. Genetic kinship may result in no feeling of connection but someone from a completely different origin feels like a brother or sister. To me, this is one piece of evidence that points towards a previous connection, from another life.

Reincarnation seems to make sense, and philosophically, it can give life much more significant meaning. It could be a delusion, but there is no down side, only an upside. As with so many things in life, we cannot know for certain but it makes a good working hypothesis, one that improves the quality of life without taking anything away. If there is only this one life, why not just serve yourself and to hell with everyone else?

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According to Patanjali the fear of death (abhinivesha) is the deepest form of ignorance upon which all other fears are based. Abhinivesha is the fifth of the five kleshas (afflictions) - the other kleshas are avidya (ignorance of our true nature), asmita (ego), raga (attachment) and dvesha (aversion).

According to yoga, our essential being is consciousness. Mind and body are just a suit of clothing, a vehicle, utilized for one lifetime. When this life is concluded the old clothes are discarded and decompose, while consciousness is eternal and never dies.

Yogic meditation leads to an experience of this essential being independent of mind and body. The deathless state can be experienced in life. From this experience one can dispense with all fear. All fears are based on this primal fear, the fear of our extinction.

https://www.ashtangayoga.nyc/yoga-philosophy

Yoga and the Sadhana Pada - Philosophy that Supports Practice

10 Week Course on Yoga Philosophy with Reference to the Yoga Sutra - Tuesdays at 10:30 - September 15 - November 17

Drop in $25 - $225 for whole course

First Week: The Five Klesha - The Five Afflictions:

Ignorance of our True Nature, Ego, Attachment, Aversion and The Fear of Death